Posts Tagged ‘achieve your goals’

Baby Steps Will Get You There

Thursday, August 19th, 2010

Inch by inch, life’s a cinch. Yard by yard, it’s real hard.

Are you procrastinating, overwhelmed by the size of an important task you need to complete?  When faced with a big job, think small.

It’s easy to become paralyzed when the job you need to do seems too big to handle.  In those situations it’s helpful to remember the salami image.  There’s no way in the world you can stuff an entire salami in your mouth, but you can polish it off easily one slice at a time.  The thinner the slices, the easier it is to do.

It’s crucial to break any big job into doable steps. When faced with a daunting task, first identify the steps necessary to reach your goal.  The smaller the steps, the easier they are to accomplish.  Once you get moving by taking baby steps, you develop momentum. That momentum will help you move forward, enjoying the task as you go.

The operative word here is “doable.” Most people stymie themselves with unrealistic demands.  Unwilling to be satisfied with small steps, they end up doing nothing. It is important to delight in any progress you make while working toward a goal, no matter how small that progress may seem.

A client came to me recently seeking help to finish his doctoral dissertation.  He needed a Ph.D. in order to get the job he wanted and he couldn’t get his Ph.D. until his dissertation was complete.  He had been working on the dissertation for over a year. By the time he came to see me he had done no work on it at all for several months and was completely stuck.

My client and I identified fifteen small steps that would enable him move forward.  We determined that he could reasonably expect to complete the first two of those steps by our next session.

“I couldn’t be happy with that,” he protested.  “I’d feel like I hadn’t done enough if THAT were all I accomplished!  I’d need to get at least eight of those steps done to feel satisfied.”  Of course, even five of the steps we had identified would have been too much to realistically accomplish in one week. Overwhelmed with so much, my client would have fallen back into his old pattern of doing nothing.

How often are you like my client?  Unable to live up to unrealistic expectations, do you end up doing nothing at all?

If there is an important project that you are stuck on, ask yourself, “Am I insisting on too much from myself?”  If your expectations are unrealistic, you may thwart your own progress.

Examine whatever daunting task you are facing.  Break it down into the smallest possible steps. Set realistic goals related to accomplishing those steps.  By giving yourself permission to take baby steps, you will begin moving in the right direction.  The progress you make will encourage you to keep going. In this way you will eventually achieve your goal.

In fact, my client felt great after completing the two small steps he set out to do that first week.  Getting at least something done was a definite improvement over the inactivity of the preceding months.  The following week he accomplished the next small segment. Before long he was rolling ahead toward completing his dissertation.

When you allow yourself to be satisfied with baby steps, you, too, will achieve your goals and make your good life better.

Ways to Channel the Energy You Spend Worrying

Monday, July 26th, 2010

Focus your attention in the present.

When you worry you are lost between your ears.  You are focused on some feared outcome in the future.  Though these thoughts and feelings may consume you, whatever you are imagining is less real than what is around you.  Take a deep breath.  Turn your attention to your surroundings. Notice anything in your environment that you can appreciate – the beauty of nature, someone you love, some music you really enjoy.  Whatever your worry, it’s a hypothetical situation off somewhere in the future.  The moment you are living in is real.  It is a gift.  That’s why it’s called the present. Appreciate it fully.  It’s really all you have.

Focusing in the present helps to put what you are worrying about into a larger perspective.  You can see that while your concern is a part of your life, it is only one part of a much larger whole.  When you focus on what works in your life, you diminish the power of your worry.  When you re-channel your worry energy in more positive directions, you’ll be sure to make your good life better.

Ways to Channel the Energy You Spend Worrying

Monday, July 19th, 2010

Keep a Worry Journal

Keep a journal in which you record all of your worries.  You can carry a small notebook wherever you go and keep a running account of your worries throughout the day.  Or you might want to keep a notebook next to your bed and each night before you go to sleep record the major worries of the day.  Worries have a way of circling endlessly in your head.  One worry can seem like twenty when it comes around again and again.  When you write your worries down they become more manageable.  Sometimes a worry loses its power when seen in black and white.  You can go back over your worry journal weekly or monthly.

It can be extremely instructive to review your worries and notice the actual outcome in each situation.  Often the things you worry about never occur.  Other times they happen but you handle them just fine. This powerful lesson in reality can help you reduce your worry in the future.

Endorse Both Your Achievements and Your Strengths

Friday, June 18th, 2010

Endorsing your excellence means both acknowledging your achievements and appreciating your strengths, those character traits that have enabled you to succeed.

Being willing and able to endorse your excellence has a number of benefits. Here are some of them:

1. Familiarity with your own strengths provides awareness of the qualities that can help you to succeed.

When you set a goal for yourself it is important to know those characteristics which have helped you to succeed in the past. If you are aware of your strengths and willing to acknowledge them, you can consciously utilize them to help you achieve your goals in the present.

Your strengths may be diligence or enthusiasm or perseverance or any other character trait that has helped you to succeed in the past. Whatever they are, these strengths will always be available to you. You can draw on these same strengths to achieve your goal in the present, no matter how daunting it may seem.

If you would like to learn more about your own strengths, I highly recommend you visit the website www.authentichappiness.com. There you will find the VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire which measures 24 character strengths. It takes only about 20 minutes to complete this questionnaire and it is free! You will have a list of your top strengths. Awareness of these strengths will help you answer the question, “How can I ever accomplish THIS???”

2. When you acknowledge your successes you become an expert in what you can do to achieve your goals.

When you recognize what you do that works, you can build on your successes to reach your goals. Pay attention to the tiny winning choices that you make. Notice the differences they make in your life.

Are you more effective when you take a brief break a couple of times a day? Do people react differently when you treat them with greater kindness? When you become an expert on the outcome of your choices, you learn what behaviors work. You become keenly aware of what you need to do more of to succeed. When you are empowered in this way, the choices you make will create your success.

3. Honestly present your excellence to others.

There are certain situations, such as job interviews, where success depends on your being able to affirm the contributions you have made. This is not bragging when done in a matter-of-fact manner.

A simple acknowledgement of your strengths and accomplishments conveys necessary information while projecting the self confidence every employer seeks in a potential hire.

As you practice endorsing your excellence it will become easier. After all, it is natural to feel good about how great you really are!

It starts tomorrow

Tuesday, April 20th, 2010

It’s not too late to sign up for my new telecourse, “Let Your Soul Sing: 5 Practical Elements to Create a Life of Fulfillment without Losing Everything You’ve Attained” and you can still invite a friend for $100 off the regular price.

I designed this telecourse for you

  • If you feel like you have it made, but deep down you know that something is missing,
  • if you want to ‘give back,’ but can’t imagine finding the time,
  • if you yearn for greater meaning in your life.

I have seen the incredible difference pursuing a dream can make in the lives of my clients and I want you to enjoy the same satisfaction.

Go to http://www.letyoursoulsing.com to sign up for the telecourse.

Act now! You have my promise that this telecourse will never again be offered at this extremely low price – less than $50 per session!

In this telecourse, “Let Your Soul Sing: 5 Practical Elements to Create a Life of Fulfillment without Losing Everything You’ve Attained” you will use my 5 Step Signature System to begin creating a life of meaning and joy, a life that turns you on:

  • Session 1:  Really Know Fulfillment

You create the motivation you need to move ahead and discover what fulfillment feels like for you – a feeling you can use like a divining rod to find direction and stay on track.

  • Session 2:  Move Beyond the Threshold of “I don’t know”

You learn the three primary ways that “I don’t know’” keeps you stuck and two essential methods to move beyond your “I don’t know’s” to create a life of meaning and joy.

  • Session 3:  Walk the Spiral Path of Transformation

By designing an action plan and taking your first steps, you start moving along the spiral path to create a life that really works for you.  You learn what works to get you going and keep you moving on the path toward a life that makes your soul sing.

  • Session 4:  Use Your Resistance to Move Ahead

You learn the five patterns that resistance can take.  You identify your own specific patterns of resistance and how to deal with them.  You learn how to use the resistance that’s been holding you back to actually help you move forward.

  • Session 5:  Enlist Support

The group provides the structure and support that empowers you succeed.  In addition, as a participant in this telecourse, you will be among the first to learn about my upcoming VIP Platinum Group Program. You’ll receive the opportunity for substantial savings on this great program available only to participants in my telecourse, “Let Your Soul Sing: 5 Practical Elements to Create a Life of Fulfillment without Losing Everything You’ve Attained.”

  • Session 6 will be entirely devoted to your questions.

Go to http://www.letyoursoulsing.com to sign up for the telecourse, but do it now.  The telecourse begins tomorrow.

Share this information with a friend and they can sign up at $100 off the regular price. Once you and your friend have enrolled in the telecourse, simply email your friend’s name to me at Jeannette@achieveyourgoals.com and I will refund your friend $100 off the regular price of the teleseminar.

Here’s that link again:

http://www.letyoursoulsing.com

Here’s to a life of meaning and joy for you!

Jeannette

PS  Remember, staying stuck in a life that fails to fulfill you, is settling for less than you deserve!  Are you ready to finally live a life of meaning and joy, a life that makes your soul sing?  Click here to lock in your place now:

http://www.letyoursoulsing.com

Do you make this mistake?

Friday, April 16th, 2010

One of the most common mistakes people make when they want to change their life is to try and do it alone.  The truth is, Isolation Kills Dreams.

How many times have you started off on your own to bring about change in your life, only to have the effort fizzle out…and nobody noticed?  We are all more likely to follow through when someone else is involved.

  • At work you know you’ll complete any task that’s important to your boss.
  • You finish reading a book when you know it’s going to be discussed in your book group.
  • You show up for your yoga class, even if you never get around to doing your practice at home.

You need to enlist support to bring about change in your life

I designed my new telecourse, “Let Your Soul Sing: 5 Practical Elements to Create a Life of Fulfillment without Losing Everything You’ve Attained”, to offer you the support you need to create a life of meaning and joy:

  • Just joining the class creates the focus you need to get going.
  • The structure of the telecourse guarantees that you devote time, attention, and energy to creating the life you long for.
  • The information and exercises provided in each session offer insight, awareness and practical steps you can take to help you succeed.
  • You receive the support of others through the opportunity to share your successes in each session.
  • You have the benefit of coaching with me during the question and answer sections that are part of every session.

And now, I’m introducing an opportunity to create even more support for yourself.

You can bring a friend.

Think of somebody you know who wants to create a life of greater meaning and joy.  Invite them to join you in this telecourse. You pay the regular price – $297 for six sessions – and they sign up for just $197!

When you involve someone you know, someone who cares about you, you make it even more likely that you – and they – will succeed.

Go to http://www.letyoursoulsing.com to learn more and to sign up.

Share this information with a friend and they can sign up at $100 off the regular price. Once you and your friend have enrolled in the telecourse, simply email your friend’s name to me at Jeannette@achieveyourgoals.com and I will refund your friend $100 off the regular price of the teleseminar.

Act soon!  The telecourse, “Let Your Soul Sing: 5 Practical Elements to Create a Life of Fulfillment without Losing Everything You’ve Attained” begins next Wednesday.

To Win the Lottery You Must Buy a Ticket

Friday, March 26th, 2010

One of my favorite jokes goes like this:

Every day a man went into church, lit a candle and got down on his knees to pray.  Every day he begged God “Please, please let me win the Lottery.”

He continued like this for weeks and months and even years, but he never won a penny.

Finally, someone up there must have had pity on the poor man. One day our friend heard a deep, booming voice reverberating throughout the church:  “To win the Lottery… you must buy a ticket!”

How many times have you wished for something, but been reluctant to take the step that could help you achieve your goal?  It can be scary to take a significant step toward your goal.

What if it doesn’t work?  What if you fail?  What if you succeed and your life actually is transformed, but it no longer feels like the life you’re familiar with?   Thoughts such as these can keep you from taking the risk that could move you forward toward transforming your life for the better.

Yet if you never take that step, you will certainly never achieve your goals.  If you do not take that risk, you may protect yourself from rejection or ridicule but you will never move ahead.

Once you actually take a risk, you will find exhilaration quickly replacing your terror.  Few things are more empowering or energizing than actually moving through fear to take a step toward a desired goal.  Once you have taken the leap and learned you can fly, the imagined risks seem insignificant in comparison to the possibilities you have created.

A Personal Example

I experienced this recently.  My goal is to see my articles published in national magazines.  In order for an article to be printed, a magazine editor needs to accept one for publication.  No magazine editor will ever be able to accept my article unless I submit a query letter. So, if I don’t submit query letters to potential publishers I will never realize my goal of seeing my articles in print.  Submitting a query letter felt incredibly scary until I realized that if I want to win the Lottery, I’m going to need to take that risk.

Submitting my first query letter took an enormous amount of courage. What I never anticipated was the exhilaration I felt the moment I actually sent it.  My focus shifted completely from the fear of rejection and failure to the possibility of success.  In taking that fearsome step I had done what I needed to do to create – for the first time – the possibility of achieving my goal and actually seeing my articles in print.

Of course, I may get rejection letters.  But if I do, I’ll just keep sending the queries to other publishers until I find one that bites.  I know that if I keep doing this, someday I will achieve my goal.  If I don’t do this, I will never win the Lottery.

You Can Do It Too

Think of the goals you hesitate to move ahead on.  Think about a risk you need to take to move toward that goal.  Give yourself permission to take that risk and then go for it!  You’ll create the possibility to achieve your goal and your good life will be better because of it!

PS.  Feel free to email me. I’d love to hear about the scary steps you take, or have taken … and the successes they lead to!

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.

The Six Stages of Change

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

Most of us think of change as a simple linear process.  We set a goal and we move toward it until we succeed.

Research has shown, however, that change is actually a more complex and circular process.  In his study of people who successfully quit smoking, James Prochaska identified six stages which characterize any behavioral change. Understanding these six stages of change can help you achieve your goals.

In addition, Prochaska found that few of his subjects actually marched through these steps one after the other.  Instead most of them circled through a number of times before they became and remained non-smokers.

This is important for you to know if you are attempting a behavioral change or if someone you know is.  It’s easy to view a lapse as failure, to become discouraged or even give up.

Instead, you can recognize lapses as a normal part of the change process.  By being aware of the six stages, you will be better prepared to deal with any setbacks and get quickly back on track.

The Six Stages of Change:

Prochaska not only characterized the stages of change.  He also identified the accomplishments necessary in each to move to the next stage.  I offer you both.
1.    Precontemplation:

Precontemplation describes the period before you are aware that a change is necessary.  Another word for Precontemplation is denial.

In Precontemplation, you are living with a problem but refusing to acknowledge that change needs to happen.  Others around you may clearly recognize that you need to change, but you insist that the situation is not so serious that you can’t handle it.

If you are in Precontemplation, before you can to move to the next stage you need to be willing to consider the possibility that change may be necessary.  You need to recognize that the costs of maintaining the problem behavior may be greater than the costs of changing it.

2.    Contemplation:

Once you’ve moved out of Precontemplation, you are willing to understand the truth about the problem behavior or situation and consider the alternatives.  Contemplation is the learning stage in which you gather information.

In the stage of Contemplation you examine the pros and cons of the various options available to you.  You honestly assess all of the costs and benefits of allowing the situation to continue.  You also look at the pluses and minuses of doing things differently. You become fully informed.

Some people go back and forth between Precontemplation and Contemplation for a while before they are ready to move ahead.  You are ready to move to the next stage when, on the basis of your analysis, you embrace the need to change.

3.    Planning:

Once you have committed to bringing about a change in your life, the next step is to figure out how to do it.  You plan your behavior change.

You identify your goal.  You research the various ways you might achieve your goal.  You enlist help.  Often people show up for coaching when they reach the Planning stage, knowing that a coach can help them clarify their goal as well as the steps they need to accomplish it.

Once you have formulated a workable plan, you are ready to move into Action.

4.    Action:

You implement your plan in the Action phase.  This phase can be seen as an experiment in which you learn which parts of your plan work and where the unforeseen obstacles lie.

Circling between Action and Planning is an inevitable part of the change process.  No plan is perfect.  It is essential to view any problems which arise as an opportunity to improve your plan.

Once your action plan is proceeding smoothly, you are ready to move into the most challenging stage of all.

5.    Maintenance:

Most people enter the Action stage filled with enthusiasm and excitement.  There is a sense of euphoria as they begin to see positive change and experience the benefits that this brings.

It is much more of a challenge to maintain that change.  As you move further from the negative experiences created by the old behavior, it becomes easier to minimize their costs.  Temptations arise which can be difficult to resist.

Maintenance is the long haul during which old habits are being replaced by new ones.  Lapses are common during the Maintenance phase.  It may be necessary to return to Planning or even to Contemplation to remedy these lapses.

Some people who lapse in the Maintenance stage get so discouraged that they return to Precontemplation.  Don’t let this happen to you!

When you understand that change rarely proceeds in a straight line, you can recognize a lapse as a normal part of the change process and get quickly back on track.

6.    Termination (Transformation):

Once the new habits have replaced the old, maladaptive behaviors you can consider yourself in what Prochaska labels the Termination phase.  I prefer the term Transformation.

In Transformation, the desired change has been accomplished.  With the new behaviors established, you are no longer the same person.  You couldn’t imagine going back to the old behavior patterns. You have achieved your goal.

Understanding the process of change will help you achieve your goals and make your good life better!  If you would like to learn more about the six stages of change, I heartily recommend Prochaska’s book, Changing for Good.

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.

Baby Steps Will Get You There!

Thursday, December 17th, 2009

Inch by inch, life’s a cinch. Yard by yard, it’s real hard.

Are you procrastinating, overwhelmed by the size of an important task you need to complete?  When faced with a big job, think small.

It’s easy to become paralyzed when the job you need to do seems too big to handle.  In those situations it’s helpful to remember the salami image.  There’s no way in the world you can stuff an entire salami in your mouth, but you can polish it off easily one slice at a time.  The thinner the slices, the easier it is to do.

It’s crucial to break any big job into doable steps. When faced with a daunting task, first identify the steps necessary to reach your goal.  The smaller the steps, the easier they are to accomplish.  Once you get moving by taking baby steps, you develop momentum. That momentum will help you move forward, enjoying the task as you go.

The operative word here is “doable.” Most people stymie themselves with unrealistic demands.  Unwilling to be satisfied with small steps, they end up doing nothing. It is important to delight in any progress you make while working toward a goal, no matter how small that progress may seem.

A client came to me recently seeking help to finish his doctoral dissertation.  He needed a Ph.D. in order to get the job he wanted and he couldn’t get his Ph.D. until his dissertation was complete.  He had been working on the dissertation for over a year. By the time he came to see me he had done no work on it at all for several months and was completely stuck.

My client and I identified fifteen small steps that would enable him move forward.  We determined that he could reasonably expect to complete the first two of those steps by our next session.

“I couldn’t be happy with that,” he protested.  “I’d feel like I hadn’t done enough if THAT were all I accomplished!  I’d need to get at least eight of those steps done to feel satisfied.”  Of course, even five of the steps we had identified would have been too much to realistically accomplish in one week. Overwhelmed with so much, my client would have fallen back into his old pattern of doing nothing.

How often are you like my client?  Unable to live up to unrealistic expectations, do you end up doing nothing at all?

If there is an important project that you are stuck on, ask yourself, “Am I insisting on too much from myself?”  If your expectations are unrealistic, you may thwart your own progress.

Examine whatever daunting task you are facing.  Break it down into the smallest possible steps. Set realistic goals related to accomplishing those steps.  By giving yourself permission to take baby steps, you will begin moving in the right direction.  The progress you make will encourage you to keep going. In this way you will eventually achieve your goal.

In fact, my client felt great after completing the two small steps he set out to do that first week.  Getting at least something done was a definite improvement over the inactivity of the preceding months.  The following week he accomplished the next small segment. Before long he was rolling ahead toward completing his dissertation.

When you allow yourself to be satisfied with baby steps, you, too, will achieve your goals and make your good life better.

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.