Archive for the ‘Career Life Coaching’ Category

Endorse Both Your Achievements and Your Strengths

Friday, June 18th, 2010

Endorsing your excellence means both acknowledging your achievements and appreciating your strengths, those character traits that have enabled you to succeed.

Being willing and able to endorse your excellence has a number of benefits. Here are some of them:

1. Familiarity with your own strengths provides awareness of the qualities that can help you to succeed.

When you set a goal for yourself it is important to know those characteristics which have helped you to succeed in the past. If you are aware of your strengths and willing to acknowledge them, you can consciously utilize them to help you achieve your goals in the present.

Your strengths may be diligence or enthusiasm or perseverance or any other character trait that has helped you to succeed in the past. Whatever they are, these strengths will always be available to you. You can draw on these same strengths to achieve your goal in the present, no matter how daunting it may seem.

If you would like to learn more about your own strengths, I highly recommend you visit the website www.authentichappiness.com. There you will find the VIA Signature Strengths Questionnaire which measures 24 character strengths. It takes only about 20 minutes to complete this questionnaire and it is free! You will have a list of your top strengths. Awareness of these strengths will help you answer the question, “How can I ever accomplish THIS???”

2. When you acknowledge your successes you become an expert in what you can do to achieve your goals.

When you recognize what you do that works, you can build on your successes to reach your goals. Pay attention to the tiny winning choices that you make. Notice the differences they make in your life.

Are you more effective when you take a brief break a couple of times a day? Do people react differently when you treat them with greater kindness? When you become an expert on the outcome of your choices, you learn what behaviors work. You become keenly aware of what you need to do more of to succeed. When you are empowered in this way, the choices you make will create your success.

3. Honestly present your excellence to others.

There are certain situations, such as job interviews, where success depends on your being able to affirm the contributions you have made. This is not bragging when done in a matter-of-fact manner.

A simple acknowledgement of your strengths and accomplishments conveys necessary information while projecting the self confidence every employer seeks in a potential hire.

As you practice endorsing your excellence it will become easier. After all, it is natural to feel good about how great you really are!

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Posted in Career Life Coaching, Inner Wisdom Coaching, Intuition Coaching, Life Stress Management, Solution Focused Coaching, Stress Management Coaching, Uncategorized | No Comments »

Replace the Habit of Upset with the Habit of Calm

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

When you are upset about something, it may feel like there’s no way you could calm down.  In fact, there are simple, straightforward techniques you can use to transform upset into calm.  When you do, you’ll deal more effectively with the situation.

Here are the steps you can use to transform upset into calm.

First notice how you feel as you let upset overtake you.  Pay careful attention to the impact of your upset on your body and your mind.

Notice any tightness in your muscles or clenching in your gut.  Be aware of the unpleasant thoughts and feelings aroused by your outrage.  If your criticism is directed at yourself, notice how undermining those attacks on yourself truly are.

Then ask yourself,  “How would I be, if I weren’t reacting this way?”

If you are honest with yourself, you will note that you would be calmer and more peaceful, more comfortable and better able to deal with the situation if you were free of your upset.

From this perspective, you can see that your own upset is as much of a problem as whatever provoked your response.

Really allow yourself to imagine fully how it would feel to remain calm.  Invite the thoughts that would support a calm response, such as “This really isn’t all that important” or “Maybe s/he didn’t do that to hurt me.”

Visualize yourself responding appropriately when frustrated, disappointed or angry.  Then practice the calm you have visualized

As you begin to visualize alternatives to overreacting, you become aware of the choices available to you.  When you feel your upset beginning to arise, take a deep breath and consider your options.  Ask yourself, “Would I rather be upset or calm in this situation?”

Gradually, as you practice new patterns of thought and behavior, you will replace the habit of upset with the habit of calm.

Posted in Career Life Coaching, Inner Wisdom Coaching, Intuition Coaching, Life Stress Management, Solution Focused Coaching, Stress Management Coaching | No Comments »

For Healthy Life Balance Make Daily, Weekly and Yearly Self-Care a Top Priority

Monday, March 15th, 2010

Jennifer loves her job.  But when work demands threatened to wreck her marriage and her health she came to me for coaching.

Ambitious and hard working, she prided herself on arriving at work early, leaving late and working through lunch.   Her husband had enough when a get-away weekend had to be cancelled for the second time due to a last minute crisis at work. The stress of her job was taking a toll on her health, too.   Jennifer’s doctor suggested she go on blood pressure medication, which she wanted to avoid if possible.

People like Jennifer are high achievers.  They get things done.  When busy becomes busier, however, life balance can suffer.  As pressure builds up to accomplish ever more it becomes harder and harder to find time for self-care.  Something has to give or burnout will result.

Does this sound familiar to you?  If so, to avoid physical or relationship problems add some re-creation to your life on a daily, weekly and yearly basis.  Positive life balance provides stress management as few other things can.

To create appropriate life balance you need to give yourself small breaks a few times a day, create larger re-creation times each week, and make sure to take a vacation at least once a year to thoroughly recharge your life.

Here’s the paradox:  the more you need to create healthy life balance, the harder it is to do.  This means you have to make self-care a top priority.

Block out time in your schedule to make sure you give yourself re-creation breaks, as you would with any top priority activity.  Vigorously defend against threats to your self-care when they come up, as they inevitably will.  When you commit to regular self-care, you’ll feel better, your relationships will improve and you’ll work more productively.

1.  Take Several Breaks Daily.

If you ever observe a young child or a pet, you’ll notice that after periods of intense activity they always conk out for a rest.  We are all hardwired for this pattern of activity followed by rest.

Going from one activity to the next, to the next without a break creates stress. Unmitigated stress leads to physical, mental and emotional exhaustion.  When you’re intensively focused on achieving your goals, you may overlook the costs to yourself and your relationships of unrelenting work until irreparable harm has been done.  Achieving healthy live balance goes a long way toward helping you manage your stress.

The best way to do this is to intersperse brief periods of re-creation throughout your day.  Here are four ways to achieve this self-care, none of which needs to take more than 5 to 10 minutes:

2.  Get up from your desk and stretch.

Raise your hands high above your head and then bend over as if to touch your toes.  Do a couple of side-bends to each side.  Rotate your waist.  If you need privacy to do this, head to the handicapped stall in the rest-room

3.  Get up and walk.

It only takes a few minutes of walking to refresh yourself.  Try walking around the building or, better yet, go outside to walk and get some fresh air.  Creative inspiration often comes while you walk or you may discover solutions to the problems you face.

4.  Meditate.

If you already have a meditation practice, implement it briefly at intervals throughout the day. If meditation is new to you, simply sit quietly with your feet flat on the floor and your arms uncrossed.  Focus on your breathing.  When thoughts arise, as they inevitably will, just let them go and return your focus to your breathing.  It takes only a few minutes of meditation to feel calm and refreshed.

5. Share your day with your partner, your spouse or a friend.

When good things happen to you during the day, sharing them with someone close to you enhances your satisfaction.  When bad things occur, another’s concern and support make you feel better.  When you spend time in meaningful communication with your partner you strengthen the relationship and benefit yourself.

If you are not in a committed relationship, get together with friends regularly, whether in person, on the phone or through email.  You can enjoy the same benefits of concerned interaction when you share your life with people you care about who care about you.

6.  Treat Yourself to Enjoyable Activity at Least Weekly

Create a practice of regularly engaging in activities that nourish you:

7. Express your creativity.

Engage in such hobbies as quilting or playing a musical instrument.  Sign up for a painting or ceramics class.

8. Exercise regularly.

Regular physical activity – running or biking – helps keep you in shape while producing endorphins, those neurotransmitters which provide a natural high.  Engaging in team sports such as volleyball or softball adds the advantage of social interaction to the benefit of exercise as a stress management tool.

9. Treat yourself to cultural events.

Going to a movie, a concert or a special exhibit at a local museum or gallery provides an enjoyable break from your regular routine.

10. Socialize at least once a week.

This could be getting together with friends or establishing a weekly date-night with your spouse or partner.

11.  Take a Vacation at Least Yearly.

A Conference Board poll taken in 2006 indicated that 40% of Americans had no plans to take any summer vacation.  This was the worst showing in the poll’s 28 years.  Are you among those who choose no vacation?

Taking a vacation of at least a few days, preferably a week or more, enables you to unhook completely.  You can slide into a relaxed rhythm enabling you to thoroughly recharge.

Return to a vacation place that’s comfortably familiar, or go someplace new. Travel to somewhere exotic or simply stay home to complete tasks you’ve been meaning to get to or visit sites in your area you’ve wanted to explore.

The essential thing is to remove yourself entirely from your normal routine. Give yourself enough time to really experience the benefit of distance from your normal life.  You’ll return relaxed and refreshed, better able to handle your daily challenges.  You’ll gain perspective that will help you to deal with the problems you face in your daily life.  You’ll make your good life better.

Jennifer dramatically transformed her life by implementing several of these self-care suggestions.  The relaxation that came with taking brief breaks throughout the day brought down her blood pressure and actually helped her accomplish more at work.  She looked and felt better than she had in years once she joined the weekly yoga class she’d been thinking about. Most of all, Jennifer and her husband enjoy the boost in marital satisfaction their weekly date nights provide and their Hawaii vacation was the trip of a lifetime.

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.
Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.

Posted in Career Life Coaching, Life Stress Management | No Comments »

Baby Steps Will Get You There!

Thursday, December 17th, 2009

Inch by inch, life’s a cinch. Yard by yard, it’s real hard.

Are you procrastinating, overwhelmed by the size of an important task you need to complete?  When faced with a big job, think small.

It’s easy to become paralyzed when the job you need to do seems too big to handle.  In those situations it’s helpful to remember the salami image.  There’s no way in the world you can stuff an entire salami in your mouth, but you can polish it off easily one slice at a time.  The thinner the slices, the easier it is to do.

It’s crucial to break any big job into doable steps. When faced with a daunting task, first identify the steps necessary to reach your goal.  The smaller the steps, the easier they are to accomplish.  Once you get moving by taking baby steps, you develop momentum. That momentum will help you move forward, enjoying the task as you go.

The operative word here is “doable.” Most people stymie themselves with unrealistic demands.  Unwilling to be satisfied with small steps, they end up doing nothing. It is important to delight in any progress you make while working toward a goal, no matter how small that progress may seem.

A client came to me recently seeking help to finish his doctoral dissertation.  He needed a Ph.D. in order to get the job he wanted and he couldn’t get his Ph.D. until his dissertation was complete.  He had been working on the dissertation for over a year. By the time he came to see me he had done no work on it at all for several months and was completely stuck.

My client and I identified fifteen small steps that would enable him move forward.  We determined that he could reasonably expect to complete the first two of those steps by our next session.

“I couldn’t be happy with that,” he protested.  “I’d feel like I hadn’t done enough if THAT were all I accomplished!  I’d need to get at least eight of those steps done to feel satisfied.”  Of course, even five of the steps we had identified would have been too much to realistically accomplish in one week. Overwhelmed with so much, my client would have fallen back into his old pattern of doing nothing.

How often are you like my client?  Unable to live up to unrealistic expectations, do you end up doing nothing at all?

If there is an important project that you are stuck on, ask yourself, “Am I insisting on too much from myself?”  If your expectations are unrealistic, you may thwart your own progress.

Examine whatever daunting task you are facing.  Break it down into the smallest possible steps. Set realistic goals related to accomplishing those steps.  By giving yourself permission to take baby steps, you will begin moving in the right direction.  The progress you make will encourage you to keep going. In this way you will eventually achieve your goal.

In fact, my client felt great after completing the two small steps he set out to do that first week.  Getting at least something done was a definite improvement over the inactivity of the preceding months.  The following week he accomplished the next small segment. Before long he was rolling ahead toward completing his dissertation.

When you allow yourself to be satisfied with baby steps, you, too, will achieve your goals and make your good life better.

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.

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Accountability Will Help You Achieve Your Goals

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
Accountability Will Help You Achieve Your Goals
Think of the times you’ve attempted a behavioral change but didn’t get very far.  Chances are you started off with lots of enthusiasm, but the effort got lost somewhere along the way.
Change is hard.  The path of least resistance leads straight to the familiar ways of doing things.  The demands of your busy life distract your attention from your behavior change project.  Old habits have a way of reasserting themselves.
Accountability Will Help You Succeed
In life coaching, accountability is one of the most powerful tools for helping people succeed.  Accountability literally means making an account.  When you know you are going to make an account to someone else, you are more likely to follow through with the steps you’ve committed to for reaching your goal.   An on-going relationship with someone to whom you make an account  helps you stay on track over time.
Involving another person in your behavior change program helps you strengthen your commitment and maintain your focus.  When things go well you have someone to celebrate with.  When problems arise there’s someone to help you identify what went wrong and figure out how to get back on track
Here are three ways you can create accountability in your life:
1. Enlist a Friend
You have probably noticed that you’re more likely to stick with an exercise program when you find a buddy to participate with you.  If you just don’t feel like getting up early one morning to take that run, you’re much more likely to get moving if you know you’ll let your friend down if you don’t show up.
You can make a contest of it, seeing who reaches a weight loss or savings plan goal first.  You could also make a bet with a friend or family member.  If you succeed at your behavior change, you win your bet in addition to the satisfaction of achieving your goal.
Engaging a friend or family member will not only help you succeed.  Working toward a shared goal will provide companionship and strengthen the relationship.
2. Join a Group or a Class
When you make a group or a class a part of your weekly schedule, you improve the chances that you’ll follow through.  The structure of a weekly class or group creates a routine in your life that becomes a regular habit.
It can be much easier to get to the gym for an exercise class, than to work out on your own.  If you try doing it at home, it’s easy to get distracted by the kids, the TV, or the thousands of other things you need to do around the house.
Participation in a group brings you into contact with others who share your interests or goals.  Other members can offer encouragement and support.  If you are motivated by competition, comparing your progress to others’ can provide an incentive.  Twelve Step, weight loss, and smoking cessation groups all provide ongoing support to help you establish and maintain healthy behaviors.  Joining a book group provides social interaction and stimulating conversation, in addition to making sure that you get those books read.
If your goal is developing a new skill, such as photography or playing the guitar, or pursuing an interest such as becoming a wine connoisseur, a class provides information and guidance in a systematic manner.  You can also expand your social network when you come into contact with others who share your interests.
3. Hire a Life Coach
A life coach is a professional, with expertise in helping you achieve your goals.  Your regularly scheduled meetings keep you focused on your objectives amid the distractions of your daily life. Reporting on your progress, both in and between sessions, creates the accountability and support  that maximize the likelihood of your following through on action steps.  The feedback you receive, whether celebration of successes or problem solving to address unexpected challenges, will help you to succeed.
Whatever your goal, you increase the chances that you will succeed if you create accountability.  And achieving your goals will make your good life better.

Think of the times you’ve attempted a behavioral change but didn’t get very far.  Chances are you started off with lots of enthusiasm, but the effort got lost somewhere along the way.

Change is hard.  The path of least resistance leads straight to the familiar ways of doing things.  The demands of your busy life distract your attention from your behavior change project.  Old habits have a way of reasserting themselves.

Accountability Will Help You Succeed!

In life coaching, accountability is one of the most powerful tools for helping people succeed.  Accountability literally means making an account.  When you know you are going to make an account to someone else, you are more likely to follow through with the steps you’ve committed to for reaching your goal.   An on-going relationship with someone to whom you make an account  helps you stay on track over time.

Involving another person in your behavior change program helps you strengthen your commitment and maintain your focus.  When things go well you have someone to celebrate with.  When problems arise there’s someone to help you identify what went wrong and figure out how to get back on track.

Here are three ways you can create accountability in your life:

1. Enlist a Friend:

You have probably noticed that you’re more likely to stick with an exercise program when you find a buddy to participate with you.  If you just don’t feel like getting up early one morning to take that run, you’re much more likely to get moving if you know you’ll let your friend down if you don’t show up.

You can make a contest of it, seeing who reaches a weight loss or savings plan goal first.  You could also make a bet with a friend or family member.  If you succeed at your behavior change, you win your bet in addition to the satisfaction of achieving your goal.

Engaging a friend or family member will not only help you succeed.  Working toward a shared goal will provide companionship and strengthen the relationship.

2. Join a Group or a Class:

When you make a group or a class a part of your weekly schedule, you improve the chances that you’ll follow through.  The structure of a weekly class or group creates a routine in your life that becomes a regular habit.

It can be much easier to get to the gym for an exercise class, than to work out on your own.  If you try doing it at home, it’s easy to get distracted by the kids, the TV, or the thousands of other things you need to do around the house.

Participation in a group brings you into contact with others who share your interests or goals.  Other members can offer encouragement and support.  If you are motivated by competition, comparing your progress to others’ can provide an incentive.  Twelve Step, weight loss, and smoking cessation groups all provide ongoing support to help you establish and maintain healthy behaviors.  Joining a book group provides social interaction and stimulating conversation, in addition to making sure that you get those books read.

If your goal is developing a new skill, such as photography or playing the guitar, or pursuing an interest such as becoming a wine connoisseur, a class provides information and guidance in a systematic manner.  You can also expand your social network when you come into contact with others who share your interests.

3. Hire a Life Coach:

A life coach is a professional, with expertise in helping you achieve your goals.  Your regularly scheduled meetings keep you focused on your objectives amid the distractions of your daily life.  Reporting on your progress, both in and between sessions, creates the accountability and support  that maximize the likelihood of your following through on action steps.  The feedback you receive, whether celebration of successes or problem solving to address unexpected challenges, will help you to succeed.

Whatever your goal, you increase the chances that you will succeed if you create accountability.  And achieving your goals will make your good life better.

Jeannette Samanen, Ph.D.
Jeannette’s professional development began with graduate school at the University of Oregon.  Her first post-doctoral position was at the Boston University School of Medicine where, as an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry (Psychology), where she specialized in stress management and behavioral medicine.  Jeannette has had over 30 years of experience as a life coach and psychologist and derives great pleasure from helping clients transform their lives for the better.

Posted in Career Life Coaching, Solution Focused Coaching | No Comments »